Jamie Klingman is a woman who would be considered overwhelmingly fit to be an adoptive mother. She is a successful business owner, works to aid nonprofits and is ultimately a productive member of society. Yet when she and her husband, Tony Mutchler, decided they wanted to bring an adopted teen into their family, things did not go as she might have hoped.
When Jamie met Tony, he was a dad to two teen daughters, Savannah and Delaney. Jamie and Tony knew they weren’t at a point in life where they wanted to conceive. Adoption felt like the perfect way to grow their family.
“We started inquiring about adopting a teenager because they would fit into the stage of life we were at. They would get to know my husband’s girls before they went off to college,” Jamie said.
The Klingman-Mutchler family made inquiries on more than 30 teenagers. They were willing to do whatever it took to bring the right person into their family, but despite their openness, finding a match was not easy.
“So many teenagers have been let down by the system that by 14 or 15 they were waiting to just age out,” Jamie explained.
After working through several agencies and difficult starts, the family was briefly matched with a boy named Josh. Despite their best efforts, the placement was not successful due to significant medical and mental health challenges combined with the strain of Tony’s cancer diagnosis. It was an incredibly painful experience that left the family questioning whether adoption was truly possible for them.
So, when Jamie received a call from their former Guardian ad Litem about a teen girl who needed immediate placement, her instinct was to start calling around to see if friends could step in. She wasn’t sure her family could try again. But when she told Tony about the girl, his simple response changed everything.
“Will she be here tonight?” he asked.
With some anxiety and excitement, the family decided that if Tony proved to be cancer free at his next appointment, they would open their home once more. In January 2022, he received the ultimate blessing. He was cancer free.
And Alysha, a 14-year-old girl in Pinellas County, was about to receive her own blessing.
From the moment they met Alysha, everything felt different.
“When we pulled up my husband and I looked at each other after seeing her for the first time and we both agreed she looked like she could be our biological child,” Jamie recalled. “She was lovely. Alysha wasn’t afraid to talk to us and ask us questions. Just like we wanted to make sure she was a fit for us, she was making sure we were a fit for her.”
Alysha’s journey through the child welfare system had been difficult. She had lived in multiple homes that didn’t feel safe or supportive.
“I didn’t feel like I had a regular family. I had a grandma, not a mom and a dad,” Alysha said. “One family I lived with, I was the only kid in the house and me and the mom didn’t get along. In another house, I was sort of pushed to the side as someone that didn’t need to be taken care of as much as their biological kids did.”
Meeting the Klingman-Mutchlers changed everything for her.
“I had just turned 14 when I met them. I was instantly clicking with them. We were each other’s people,” Alysha said. “Once I got to see them a few more times I felt like I had known them for years. I felt like I had an actual family that would treat me as a person and as someone that deserves to be loved.”
Though the process felt fast, Alysha admitted she struggled with fear before the adoption was finalized. “A couple days before adoption I told them I didn’t want to be adopted anymore,” she said. “Jamie and Tony pulled me out of school one day to talk over lunch. I told them I was too stressed out. I think I knew it was what I wanted but I was self-sabotaging a little bit.”
On Jan. 27, 2023, Alysha’s adoption was finalized. She took her both of her new parents’ names, becoming Alysha Klingman-Mutchler. Reflecting on the years since, Alysha said she has found stability, love and support.
“I felt very seen. I felt like I was being seen by a family in a way I haven’t been seen before,” she said. “I think it’s been really good. We have our ups and downs of course, but I love having the family support and the connection and how we click so easily.”
Now a high school student, Alysha is thriving. She has supportive teachers and friends, wrestles on her school team and loves history. She dreams of studying culinary arts at Valencia Community College before transferring to the University of Central Florida to become a forensic investigator.
She wants others to know that adoption changes lives.
“I don’t want people thinking everything is going to get worse,” Alysha said. “It might start off rocky because of the situation you’re in, but it’s going to get better. I want people to keep pushing and reaching out for help when they need it, which is something I can do now that I’m in my home. Adopting a child is something I recommend to adults because it could change their lives and be a special memory.”
Jamie agrees.
“Alysha has lived with us for three and a half years,” she said. “I’ve learned definitions of the word family can look different. Sometimes you don’t know that you’re missing a piece of your family until you meet them.”
Reflecting on the process, Jamie shared deep gratitude for the support they received from LSF.
“LSF was fantastic for us. Amy and her team in Pinellas were constantly helping us and pointing us in the right direction,” she said. “They were wonderful during the adoption process and helped us push until it was completed. They thought ahead and were proactive versus reactive, which was different from a lot of what we had dealt with in our previous experience.”
Jamie also hopes their story encourages others to reevaluate their preconceived notions about adopting teens.
“Alysha is a really cool person and there’s probably a lot of really cool kids that aren’t the extreme cases so many people are scared of,” she said. “I wish more people understood taking on a teenager isn’t horrifying. She’s not on drugs, she didn’t cut us into pieces, we don’t fear for our lives. Does she have trauma? Yes. Does she need therapy? Yes. But so does most of the world.”
We agree. Alysha, Jamie, Tony, their family and the work done by LSF throughout the state of Florida are really cool.
To learn more about adoption and how LSF can support you, visit https://www.lsffamilyfocus.org/adoption-lsf-family-focus/
